Friday, 24 April 2015


Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera :-)

Hidup betul-betul macam roller-coaster.
Kejap di atas, kejap di bawah.
Kejap happy, kejap sedih.
Kejap senang, kejap susah.
Dan macam-macam lagi.
Walau bagaimanapun hidup itu, perjalanan mesti diteruskan.
Biar sendirian tanpa teman.
Kata mereka dalam kubur pun sorang-sorang.
Tapi mereka terlupa sorang-sorang kau meninggal.
Siapa akan mandikan jenazah kau?
Siapa akan kafankan jenazah kau?
Siapa akan sembahyangkan jenazah kau?
Siapa akan angkat jenazah kau?
Siapa akan tanam jenazah kau?
Dan siapa akan doakan jenazah kau?
Muhasabah diri sendiri.

Take care.

Why women leave men they love – What every man needs to know

Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera :-)

As a marriage counsellor working with men and women in relationship crisis, I help clients navigate numerous marriage counselling issues. While many situations are complex, there’s one profoundly simple truth that men need to know. It’s this – Women leave men they love.

They feel terrible about it. It tears the heart out of them. But they do it. They rally their courage and their resources and they leave. Women leave men with whom they have children, homes and lives. Women leave for many reasons, but there’s one reason in particular that haunts me, one that I want men to understand:

Women leave because their man is not present. He’s working, golfing, gaming, watching TV, fishing… the list is long. These aren’t bad men. They’re good men. They’re good fathers. They support their family. They’re nice, likeable. But they take their wife for granted. They’re not present.

Women in my office tell me “Someone could come and sweep me off my feet, right out from under my husband.” Sometimes the realization scares them. Sometimes they cry.

Men – I’m not saying this is right or wrong. I’m telling you what I see. You can get as angry or hurt or indignant as you want. Your wife is not your property. She does not owe you her soul. You earn it. Day by day, moment to moment. You earn her first and foremost with your presence, your aliveness. She needs to feel it. She wants to talk to you about what matters to her and to feel you hearing her. Not nodding politely. Not placating. Definitely not playing devil’s advocate.

She wants you to feel her. She doesn’t want absent-minded groping or quick release sex. She wants to feel your passion. Can you feel your passion? Can you show her? Not just your passion for her or for sex; your passion for being alive. Do you have it? It’s the most attractive thing you possess. If you’ve lost it, why? Where did it go? Find out. Find it. If you never discovered it you are living on borrowed time.

If you think you’re present with your wife, try listening to her. Does your mind wander? Notice. When you look at her, how deeply do you see her? Look again, look deeper. Meet her gaze and keep it for longer than usual, longer than comfortable. If she asks what you’re doing, tell her. “I’m looking into you. I want to see you deeply. I’m curious about who you are. After all these years I still want to know who you are every day.” But only say it if you mean it, if you know it’s true.

Touch her with your full attention. Before you lay your hand on her, notice the sensation in your hand. Notice what happens the moment you make contact. What happens in your body? What do you feel? Notice the most subtle sensations and emotions. (This is sometimes called mindfulness.) Tell her about what you’re noticing, moment to moment.

But you’re busy. You don’t have time for this. How about five minutes? Five minutes each day. Will you commit to that? I’m not talking about extravagant dinners or nights out (although those are fine too). I’m talking about five minutes every day to be completely present to the woman you share your life with. To be completely open – hearing and seeing without judgement. Will you do that? I bet once you start, once you get a taste, you won’t want to stop.

<Note – The gender dynamic outlined above is reversible. It can go both ways.>

Take care.

Friday, 10 April 2015

What's up April

Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera :-)

Eh, dah masuk bulan April rupanya.
Bulan GST.
Bulan permulaan untuk berjimat-cermat dan ikat nafsu.
Tak boleh beli barang kehendak dah, mesti beli barang KEPERLUAN je.
Bagi bold supaya sedar diri dan beringat. hehehe
Setakat 10hb ini, masih berjaya mengawal nafsu membeli-belah.
Beli barang keperluan je. Dulu, beli sayur pun nak ke supermarket.
Sekarang, beralih ke pasar. Lagi murah, beli banyak dapat ekstra diskaun.
Tempe, biasa beli sebungkus kecil 1rm.
Tapi berkat rajin beli banyak dengan seorang mak cik ni, dapat 2rm untuk 3 bungkus kecil.
Untung dan jimat disitu.
Sayur pun beli yang seplastik besar tu. Boleh masak untuk 3 hari.
Biasa beli sayur labu air, sawi, petola, kubis ja.
Hari tu lagi untung, dapat beli sotong sederhana kecil 1rm untuk sekilo.
Itu pun tak beli banyak. Beli 2kg je.
Takut muak plak nak makan sotong je hari2. hahaha
Tak tahu nak cerita apa lagi.
Nampaknya sampai sini je lah.
Jumpa di lain post ;)

Take care.

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